I firmly believe that everyone has control of their own happiness.  There are several different things that can bring joy to a person including connections with others, appreciation of the little things, comedy, and a variety of activities.  Of course, there are uncontrollable situations that everyone has to deal with, that brings everyone down.  But there is always a choice to let the uncomfortable situations get to you.  If one chooses to focus and dwell over what is making them unhappy, then, in turn, they’ll be unhappy!  The alternative is to focus on the positive things in life.  And that’s what I’m choosing to focus on, or at least trying to.  It’s not an easy task, but it’s certainly worth trying.

People always have the choice to focus on positive things.  It is common knowledge that human interaction and comedy, among several other things, can actually increase happiness, but a lot of people avoid these things anyway.  So many people would rather go on their phones than talk to someone else, or purposefully be angry with a situation instead of laughing it off.  By simply making the choice to do things that make you happy, or laughing a little bit more every day, anyone could be happier!

Not only is there a choice to focus on the good, but there is also a choice to forget the bad.  My whole life, I’ve always gotten caught up on the minor things.  Like, one time I had a soccer game, and the particular team I was playing with had a dress code, so everything down to the socks had to be the same.  Well, on the day of a game I couldn’t find my socks, and I just completely lost it.  I thought that these socks were the most important thing in the world, and at that moment I felt as though I had committed a crime!  I spent the rest of the week completely down in the dumps because I wasn’t wearing the correct socks for one game.  If I had taken some time to realize the actual severity of the situation, I wouldn’t have been so upset.  The dumb moment with my socks had already passed, but I continued to worry.  I made the unfortunate decision to give so much power to that insignificant event.

Simply forgetting the bad definitely might be harder for some people, but it’s never impossible.    There are some people who can simply forget anything that upsets them.  And to some extent, that’s what everyone should be striving for.  There are so many small, meaningless things that everyone gets sad about, and it’s all for absolutely no reason!  

Of course, it’s never easy to let something go in the moment, but by taking a few moments out of your day to put some things in perspective, you have a better chance at happiness. Put yourself into positive environments, and forget your insignificant mistakes, and just be happy.

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CC BY-SA 4.0 Controlling Happiness by Jordan is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

3 Comments
  1. Kait 6 months ago

    Jordan,

    I agree with so much that you said. It’s great to hear that people like you have similar ideas to myself. I get caught up in the little things too and you have to remember that in the long run the little things won’t matter. I have to remember this quite often. It is a challenge everyday to chose to be happy and do things that will make me happy even when it seems way too hard to. Thank you for sharing your ideas on happiness. I really enjoyed reading this piece.

  2. Unser 6 months ago

    Jordan,
    I definitely agree with happiness being a choice. The only alternative is waiting for life to bring it to you on a silver platter, which is extremely unlikely. Satisfaction isn’t going to fall into your lap, and more often than not you’ll find yourself getting hung up on the small things rather than keeping things in perspective, as you said. Every experience can be put into a context, which for most people usually defaults to a negative one. I don’t think forgetting bad experiences should be a main goal, rather an effect of not letting it get to you. Obviously the positives in life are made greater by the negatives, and keeping the stress and anger can help ground you in reality, but overall moving past those thoughts is the direction you want to head in. Those are just my immediate thoughts, but I do agree that not sweating the small things in life is vital. Do you think bad experiences should be buried, or just put to the side for the sake of one’s mental health?

  3. Justinian 6 months ago

    Jordan,
    Thank you, this post actually got me thinking a lot. The question of whether we are in control of our own emotions is definitely on the more philosophical side. However, I do not really believe that a person can control their happiness to such a degree. As you describe it, if we can put things into perspective, things don’t seem so bad. This is a very optimistic point of view, and one I don’t generally partake in, but a completely valid one nonetheless. However, I do not believe that simply forgetting the bad is a very good strategy for controlling one’s emotions. If we force these emotions down, we may be happier for a while, but that makes it so much worse when the crushing realization inevitably finds us. As someone who has been a procrastinator his whole life, I know, that ignoring things does not make them disappear.

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