How To Be Able To Get Out and To Speak Up

How can the world encourage more victims of Domestic Violence to speak up? What is stopping them and why do they not feel safe? The way to encourage victims to speak up is to remove them from the situation to a place they feel safe and to support them in processing their experience afterwards to heal.

Firstly, by removing the victims from domestic violence so they can feel safe the victims will begin to speak up. Additionally, it is important that they are removed from the situation without getting hurt in the process of being removed. To begin, in the article, “Why Doesn’t She Just Leave,” it talks about how sometimes domestic violence can show how easily the victim can be manipulated in the relationship which can cause a lot of lack of self-esteem/confidence. “Ending an intimate relationship is almost always difficult, but even more so when the victim’s/survivor’s self-confidence has been destroyed by abuse/r. Victims/survivors of domestic violence may assume that violence in an unavoidable part of their life. Victims/survivors may also blame themselves for the violence as they are repeatedly told it is their fault by their abuser to the point that they blame themselves for the violence as they are repeatedly told it is their fault by their abuser to the point that they become confidence of it and believe that it’s their responsibility to “fix” it” (NEW CHOICES, INC). The importance of removing the victim and helping them feel safe is important because of how some times they are being manipulated by the abuser saying it’s their fault so they have to “fix” it. It manipulates the victim because of how the abuser is trying to show how he is stronger than the victim and he’ll show it in any way, just like lowering the victim’s self-esteem. This is horrible because if the abuser keeps on putting down the victim, she will never speak up with the low confidence that she has. With the low confidence it will make her feel like she won’t ever get out of the relationship since she has no power over him and the decisions he makes. If the victims tries to say “stop” “no” etc, it will harm the victim or worse. That is why it will be better if we try to help the victim get away from the abusers house and himself so that she’ll be able to speak up and maybe start over. But we need make sure that the victim will be safe from the abuser because we had promised them that we will keep them safe from the abuser..  “Your instinct may be to “save” them from the relationship, but it’s not easy. After all, there are many reasons why people stay in abusive relationships, and leaving can be a very dangerous time for the victim” (The National Domestic Violence HOTLINE). Some people may think that it is not as easy as it seems when it comes to removing the victim. Which means she once she is out of the abusers house and safe it will be easier for her to speak up. Since the abuser won’t be able to hurt / attack the victim if she speaks about the relationship.

Secondly, the way to help victims process the domestic violence that had happened in their life it to help them  process talking about the abuse when they are not in the abuser’s house. Without taking a risk of the victims getting hurt from the abuser because the whole point of helping them talk about the abuse in their relationship is by getting them away from the abusers house. If you are experiencing domestic violence right now or also someone you know who is experiencing any type of abuse in their relationship, you should tell them that they should go visit these articles:

  • The Facts on Health Care and Domestic Violence
  • The Facts on Reproductive Health and Partner Abuse
  • The Facts on Violence Against Women With HIV/AIDS
  • The Facts on Guns and Domestic Violence
  • The Facts on Immigrant Women and Domestic Violence  
  • The Facts on Workplace and Domestic Violence
  • The Facts on Workplace Impact of Domestic Violence and Stalking

These articles can tell you a plethora of information about how staying in the abusive relationship can cause all of these problems that are not good for you and your health. By doing this the victims would get help or advice from someone we trust who won’t judge their decision they’re making. This will affect our and the victims lives decisions because the faster the victim has left the abusive relationship, the faster the victim will feel safe from the abuser. Something that has been recommended is either counseling or therapy for the victims to be able to talk and express how they are either feeling. Without the physical abuse or sexually abuse in the relationship. The evidence that I will be supporting of how counseling or therapy will work is the article called “Therapy for Abuse Survivors, Survivors of Abuse”, the article talks about how abuse can cause a lot of bad memories to the victim. She will get flashbacks, scared if someone tries to touch her, and if they try to find peace or happiness in their life, it will affect them, it will not go as well as they had thought it will go. They will give up on the chances they have that’s given to them which won’t be good for the victim because it will be harder for them to recover on their confidence. Since the abuser might put the victim down, he will put the victim’s self-esteem lower and manipulate the victim by saying things that will hurt them to make them feel like they are “nothing”. By doing this, once the victim believes it, it would take a lot to try and convince them that they’re not “nothing”. So the theory is that by helping the victims to process this, it will take time with a therapist or a counselor to help the victims get their confidence back.

In conclusion, some folks may argue that domestic violence isn’t really impactable because they might think there are other things are way more important than the abuse and sexual abuse. But they are wrong because we need to stop the abuse from happening in the relationships or even in families. Domestic Violence is a significant problem because my cousin has experienced sexual abuse because he molested her when she was young. If domestic violence is continuing I don’t think we will be able to stop from it happening. Two key statics that I’ve learned is that, 15.5 million children in the United States live in families in which occurred at least once in the past year, and seven million children live in families in which severe partner violence occurred. Also another key statistics that I had learned was women who have experienced domestic violence are 80 percent more likely to have a stroke. 70 percent more likely to have heart disease. Why am I telling you this? I am telling you this because this is showing everyone, the ones who are experiencing domestic violence and also who isn’t. This is very important for the Victims who are scared for their lives or parents who are also the victim who’s afraid for their children. So, we need to do something about domestic violence, to stop or either help the victims.  

Photo by [Daniela Brown Photography]

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CC BY-SA 4.0 Don’t be afraid to speak up !! by Berenize is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

6 Comments
  1. Author
    Berenize 10 months ago

    Thank you for the nice comment Jerome. I wanted to write about this because of how my cousin had experienced this which made me feel mad and want to write a report. But sometimes when you make a report about something like this. I wanted to make sure that I am here for anyone who is experiencing this because I do care about people who are safe and who are not so that I can be able to help them out.

  2. Karen Villanueva 10 months ago

    Hello, Berenize

    This is such a great topic, and it looks like you have done a lot of research on it. I definitely agree that victims of domestic violence should be taken from their abusers as soon as possible however, in order for that to happen, the victims need to speak up first, don’t you think? For future research, you might want to look into resources available to victims of domestic violence, as well as how much awareness there is, and how accessible those resources are to the people that need it the most. Also, I really like that you offered articles as references for more information on the topic, that was very effective. I would like to know more of what you think on this topic; I hope you continue to do research and offer more information on this topic!

  3. Cynthia 10 months ago

    I really love your post. I think this is a topic that we must bring awareness to because we don’t want things like this to happen on the regular basis. I think we must understand how domestic violence starts (can be emotional, physical, or even sexual) and from there it tends to build up when the abuser says that it won’t happen again, and so on… This is a cycle that we must break because it can cause long-term effects on the victim like you mentioned “victim’s/survivor’s self-confidence has been destroyed by the abuser.” This is a serious issue and we must help the victim to speak up and have the courage to get away from the abuser. Great topic!

  4. Adrian 10 months ago

    Dear Berenize,

    Your post about domestic violence is very informative. As you stated, it is important to help remove the victim from such a violent household. Some people think that the victim may be partially at fault because he/she could have easily left the household but it is more complicated than that. Like you said, the victim’s self-esteem can become extremely low because the perpetrator is always putting the victim down and is always blamed for any little mistake. Eventually the victim starts to believe that the perpetrator loves them and that they deserve the beatings that they get. It is sometimes hard to remove the victim from the household because they think that their partner can change and that the beatings will begin to subside. In most cases, the opposite begins to happen. The bullying begins to happen more frequently and more violently each time. The longer the victim stays with the abuser, the harder it is to help the victim.

    Once the victim is removed from the toxic environment, the healing process can take a very long time. It is important to continue the support because like you mentioned, the victim will suffer from bad memories, flashbacks, and even depression. Counseling can be a great tool to slowly start the healing process and hopefully allow the victim to live a more normal life.

  5. Gary Tuione 11 months ago

    Dear Berenize :
    I am interested with your post “Don’t be afraid to speak up” because not only is this a huge problem but I am also doing the same topic as my senior project. But other than that I 100% agree with your post because if we don’t end it now then it’ll just keep getting worse overtime. One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: “how the abuser is trying to show how he is stronger than the victim and he’ll show it in any way, just like lowering the victim’s self-esteem. I know this is right because men are obviously stronger than woman and for him to not just abuse her physically but mentally also shows the fear and weakness of the victim. Another sentence that I agree with was: “we need make sure that the victim will be safe from the abuser because we had promised them that we will keep them safe from the abuser.. “Your instinct may be to “save” them from the relationship, but it’s not easy.” This stood out for me because anyone one can say I will keep you safe but sometimes it’s not just as simple as, meaning it will take a long process and a ton of thinking into making sure you can fulfil what you said. Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because I know there are many more facts that should be brought up and used to help end this type of violence.

  6. Jerome Pope Jr 11 months ago

    Dear Bereniz

    I am happy to see your post about Don’t be afraid to speak up !
    your image and title pulled me in because i have a friend who is researching the same topic and it was kinda cool to me.
    One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: “Secondly, the way to help victims process the domestic violence that had happened in their life it to help them process talking about the abuse when they are not in the abuser’s house” I like this is quote because it made me think about some of my friends who are getting abused in their home.
    Another sentence that I touched was: “The Facts on Health Care and Domestic Violence
    The Facts on Reproductive Health and Partner Abuse
    The Facts on Violence Against Women With HIV/AIDS
    The Facts on Gun and Domestic Violence
    The Facts on Immigrant Women and Domestic Violence
    The Facts on Workplace and Domestic Violence
    The Facts on Workplace Impact of Domestic Violence and Stalking
    .” This stood out for me because these are lots of facts i would like to know where you got them from.
    Your post reminds me of something that happened to me. One time I had a friend sleep over because her dad was messing with her
    Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because I would love to see more informations that you find on this topic.

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