Dear Youth Voices Community,

My name is Tomas Beltran, I am a senior at Fremont high. I feel pretty confident about my research so far, I felt like it was pretty easy to find valid and important information because my project is kind of a big deal in California, but i would be glad to take any feedback on my project.

This is my current thesis statement:

The Bullet train is the future of not only California, but the whole United States, the plan with the bullet train is to make it a fast way to travel from SF to LA and other 24 stations throughout California. The Problem that people have with it is that they do not believe that the bullet train will be safe because of the climate conditions in California, and people think that the bullet train will be unsafe like the first bullet train that was built in Taiwan and terribly failed and collapsed. The benefits of the bullet train are faster transportation to people who work far and it will make it way easier to skip traffic and travel from point A to point B.

Fremont High School seniors are now writing preliminary thesis statements to help guide how they read their sources. I would greatly appreciate your feedback and help on my preliminary thesis statement. If you could score my thesis statement using this rubric, that would be even more helpful!!!

Sincerely,

Tomas Beltran

Fremont High School

 

CC BY-SA 4.0 Looking for feedback on my research thesis by Tomas is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

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