Dear Youth Voices Community,

My name is Gary Tuione and my topic is “Domestic Violence Against Women.” I feel real confident about my research because I have excellent sources and a whole bunch of information from different point of views that can tell me plenty of facts.

This is my current thesis statement:

Domestic violence against women is huge problem in our world today. Many women between the ages 16 to 24 years old are most likely victimized by an intimate partner. Therefore domestic violence against women has a extreme impact in people’s lives in a negative way. In order to resolve this problem our community must work together to build programs for women being abused, raise awareness around people’s areas, and communicate with special authorities.

Fremont High School seniors are now writing preliminary thesis statements to help guide how they read their sources. I would greatly appreciate your feedback and help on my preliminary thesis statement. If you could score my thesis statement using this rubric, that would be even more helpful!!!


Gary Tuione

Fremont High School


CC BY-SA 4.0 How Do I Fix My Thesis? by Gary is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.


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